“it’s okay to feel sad….”
a recent conversation with a great friend reminded me of this. i was asked how i was doing. how was i really doing. it’s all very exciting and crazy but moving is a big deal, let alone to a new community. a new province. 8 hours away entering into a whole new chapter of life. at first my answer was the usual “i’m good! super excited, i’m doing great!” …. but as soon as i answered i felt my heart drop, because the truth is, as excited as i am, i am a little sad. i was quiet for a second, just thinking. “you know, it’s okay to be a little sad” is what i heard next.
i am a true optimist at heart, and every day i am trying to see the bright side of things. but i guess what i am starting to realize, is that part of seeing the bright side is reflecting on all of the amazing things we have been fortunate enough to experience while living here. and to reflect and to be grateful for those things is important, regardless of how it makes me feel about the change that is about to happen. i want to go through life really feeling. taking it all in and appreciating things for the beauty in what they are. sometimes, change is hard. and that is okay. i know that it is going to be incredible and amazing, but i’m gonna let myself soak in the feelings that come with that. i want to experience this season fully, and with that might come a bit of sadness. not a sadness from sorrow, but more so a “happy-sad” as my dad would call it ;). it’s not that i am anticipating life being anything less than amazing in our next chapter, i know it will be, but maybe it’s because i am so grateful for the that one we are closing.
i am so incredibly grateful for the time we have been able to spend in the okanagan. the friendships that were made, the experiences we have had, the sunset waterskis and days we enjoyed summer in september. the adventures and the many doors that have opened while we have been here. i got to be around for my best friend while she had her first beautiful child, i got to spend countless hours laughing with my sister. i got to see my cousin owen grow in his independence as he started university and we got to be here for him and my sister if they needed us. we got to travel and live the life of a gypsy with the freedom of scott being a student. we grew our businesses, grew in our marriage and grew as people. i got to sit out on our deck in march in a bikini, we spent a crazy amount of time at the lake and got to host our parents when they came to visit us. we cultivated new friendships with amazing people and got to serve couples who trusted us to capture their wedding days. we spent mornings and afternoons and evenings enjoying the beauty of the okanagan and the beach was our office break in the summers. scott took an active role at school to leave things better than he found them, and i got to watch him revel in his leadership role as president of the management faculty. we made last minute trips to bikini town when we needed space and purchased our first ski-boat which has always been a dream of mine. we lived with my brother-in-law for a summer and drank ceasars on the deck on sunday afternoons. we watched sunsets everyday outside our kitchen window and explored the mountains in our backyard. life here has been amazing. i am so thankful for every moment that we have spent here that it overwhelms me. and although i’m certain we will have so many more incredible memories and moments in our new home, i can’t help but to feel… happy sad. the optimist in me loves that term, so let’s go with that.
so, here’s to change. to feeling deeply, and to reflection. here’s to being overwhelmed with gratefulness (that’s a word, right?), to being so excited for the things to come that i can hardly handle it and to being super thankful for everything in the past. happy-sad. this is all just part of our story, and we are so very lucky to be here.
and with that, i guess i better get packing 😉 …