i feel like i have been running a marathon… not that i know what that feels like, but if I had to imagine it would be this. the last month has been so full and amazing, but today it really hit me. i am constantly running and i’m exhausted. 3 elopements in 3 days. it doesn’t seem that crazy, but added on to everything else this last month it added up. after my shoot today it was everything we had not to go straight home and lay on the couch, but the sun was shining and we were starving, so we went and got mexican take out, found a shady spot on the grass infront of the ocean, laid out the blanket that was in the back of my truck and had a picnic. we laid on our backs in silence, it was quiet and i was focused on nothing but watching the leaves of the trees sway with the wind and the occasional bee buzzing around the flowers. i think it was the first time in over a month that i was still and quiet. my mind is always so busy, constantly thinking about ideas and words and work and play. but in this moment i was fully present. i turned to face peter and whispered that i was sorry for always wanting to be running, and that right in that moment, i realized i needed to slow down. days and hours don’t always need to be filled with go-go-go. maybe i always just want to fill each day as full as i can and not waste any time, but i realized right then that that doesn’t have to be running here and there and hiking this trail and going to that beach and shooting 15 days in a row. maybe that can mean taking an hour to turn on my favorite playlist and lay under the shade of a palm tree and close my eyes. it’s not for work, it’s not for adventure, it’s just for me. i am starting to realize that slow, present time like this is essential for a persons mind and body.
i felt so much happiness in that moment. my breaths were slow as i rested my head on peters arm and he kissed me on the forehead. we didn’t say a word but it was clear neither of us wanted to move, we wanted to linger in that peacefulness for as long as we possibly could. when we finally forced ourselves to get up so peter could get to work on time, we both felt recharged and ready to take on the craziness of the rest of the day. i’m not sure what the point of this post is, but mostly it’s just a reminder to myself to slow down. i don’t have to be doing “something” every minute of everyday. like the say in croatia “let’s move slowly”… so i’m gonna give that a try.